Money

Dear Moneyist,

My husband and I recently bought a home and some furniture on “easy monthly installments.” My husband is the breadwinner, but I contribute as I work part time. My in-laws live overseas and have a large property; they are building a home for us to live in. For the last two and a half years, my husband has contributed more to his parents’ property development than what he pays for our home in the U.S.

I asked him why he did that. He said that I would not have permitted him to give that kind of money to his parents. I said, “Probably not, but I would have probably agreed to a smaller amount.” I told him that I too have desires to make investments, plan for our future and wear nice jewelry. He said it’s his duty to contribute.

Should my husband’s contribution be compulsory? And should I agree to these contributions? He doesn’t give me any money. On top of that, I had to find out about this through snooping. My parents also say you should give money to your parents. I believe this should be a mutual decision. Should I put an end to these payments or tell my husband to reduce them? Why are wives always ignored in such situations?

Aggrieved Wife

Dear Wife,

These contributions are both marital funds and money your husband has earned. For that reason, it’s reasonable to expect he would discuss it with you ahead of time, and it’s reasonable for him to expect you to agree to some compromise. It appears that this property is also an investment in both of your futures, and should provide a second home for you now and/or in your retirement.

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